There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
