She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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