2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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