i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
