found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
