Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think I died a long time ago.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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