Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
