dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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