Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
