oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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