Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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