Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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