Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It was confusing and full of hummus
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
