It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
