his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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