The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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