It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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