I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
