Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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