Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
everyone is single if you try hard enough
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
