the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize