Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i was born a porn star she said
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
