i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is wine microwaveable?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize