return my video game
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
