She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
