Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This house was built for laser tag.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize