If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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