So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
