but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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