Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
