you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
