Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
