party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
