Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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