I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
