its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize