Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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