Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
