playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
