I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
