Moan for me like Helen Keller
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize