You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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