literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize