Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
