I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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