smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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