the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
