Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
