This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
is that a dick in a sweater?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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