Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize