i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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