ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This is the high leading the old right now
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
