So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I would ride that face into the sunset
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
