i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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