so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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