Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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