I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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