Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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