Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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