So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
