i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
