So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
