your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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