These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
