Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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