My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
