spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize