Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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