Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize