I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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