If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
