I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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